RSVP - So many choices

The respond card is so simple. A little note to say yes or no. And yet it is individually printed (ka-ching!), takes its own little envelope (ka-ching!) and that envelope takes a first-class stamp (ka-ching!). Not at this f'ing wedding!

Instead, Carrie printed our respond cards four to a page and cut them individually. They are adorably random-sized - but all take a 24 cent postcard. Printing costs? Zero! Envelope costs? Zero! Postage costs? 33% off! And she hasn't even converted yet!

We still had to write out the respond cards and didn't really like the assumed emotion that most reply cards have. Your guests are forced to "gladly attend" or "regretfully decline" to attend the wedding. But we don't want to assume how our guests feel, so our respond card said simply:

We sent the cards out and instantly rued our decision. We should have provided more choices:

And of course there are always a couple of invitations where you wish you could send a card like this:

On reflection, though, we have no regrets. The absence of adverbs has given all of our invitees a blank canvas to work with and they are sending jokes and good wishes back in their own hands.

Comments

[Melissa]

How are you handling whether a single person can bring a guest or not? I recently found myself in a quandary over my cousin's wedding invitation. First, she spelled my name wrong. Second, the outside envelope was addressed only to me (and my wrong last name). Thirdly, the response card gave me no option to indicate if I could bring a guest or not. I have a boyfriend which I apparently can't bring to a wedding that I have to travel halfway across the country to. Just kinda bugs me that she sent me an invitation without even giving some thought to whether I might want to bring someone with me. Or else she banked on the fact that I might not attend anyway since I do live in Texas and the wedding is in Pennsylvania.

Okay, I feel better about it now.

[Beeeej]

To Melissa: Okay, the misspelling was obnoxious.

But unless you're married, engaged, or cohabitating, nobody's obligated to invite your boyfriend to their wedding just because they're inviting you. I know it's annoying, but that's the way etiquette works - "and guest" is an awfully generous invitation to extend when someone might be laying out $150/plate for a big party.

If you really want to bring him, the polite thing to do would be to call up your aunt and tell her that you didn't want to assume it was okay to bring him but you'd love to if it's all right. Then abide by what she says, period. Don't involve your cousin at all.

[Melissa]

Well, I did the non-confrontational thing and returned the invite with a choice of beef, for one. I guess my understanding harkened back to something I'd heard long ago that single, adult, people should be given an inside envelope addressed to, for example, "Melissa and Guest" if they're unsure of your social status. I guess things have changed - but I'm not that old, either. Maybe still a bit old fashioned.

That being said, I may take my boyfriend with me to Philadelphia, and have him come to the wedding with me, but not the reception. But I'm wondering if that will cause a panic amongst the bride's family thinking that I brought someone along they didn't know about.

Oh, for the love of social graces!

Anyway, congrats on your upcoming rituals. I'm sure your day will be lovely.

[Shelley]

I love the single option card. When worked in college admissions, we used to fantasize about sending un-admit letters to the kids who turned out to be obnoxious jerks once they got on campus. Don't think we ever did it, though.

[Kathryn]

lol...I completely agree with the response cards...I just finished mine invites with response cards tonight actually. Some of the invitations were sealed with a grimace or a 'do we have to look' towards my finace'. The others? Who knows if we'll even get a response back!

[Zach]

Those cards are brilliant!

[Muriel]

I think I will be using those response options just to f^ck with everyone. Really.

I'm so very tired of the guest list.

[Alison]

Thanks for the idea. Ours was a tiny bit different. Look.

[Carla]

I showed it to the sweetheart and he LOVED IT. Mind if we "borrow" your funny response cards for our small wedding? OH and I've got some family members that I want to send that last one to. REALLY! LOL!